Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
