so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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