He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
