Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
