I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
