whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
