At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
