i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
