I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
