I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
