so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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