Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
