I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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