I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
