it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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