did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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