Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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