I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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