So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
