Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
