What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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