If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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