I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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