Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I believe in your delicious
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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