By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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