So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i think my tv is drunk
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
