You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
