So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Randomize
