He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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