I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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