at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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