I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
