I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
