If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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