I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
