we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
