i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
