just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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