Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
