Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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