i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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