obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I didn't notice because vodka
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
