I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
