So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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