in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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