I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
