would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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