I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
