There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
did i just pee glitter
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
