Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
